Hallowed Heart

This poem originally appeared untitled circa 2002 in Ghost Poems, one of my nine chapbooks of poetry self-published between the years 1999 & 2004:

People will always come and go in life
They just do that, I guess
that’s just what people do
Move through your walls like phantoms
Paint your world
with some kind of crazy colors
and then fade off into distant skies
horizons of the here and beyond
Anyone you’ve ever known
leaves a part of themselves with you when they move on
Pure essence of attitude, like a presence
that will haunt your room
and fill up your senses
And who knows if the phantoms are real
departed souls still meeting
on some invisible plane
Or simply souls who have crossed
and criss-cross again and again
through power of thought
through heartfelt resolution
and time-released understanding
People are always gonna come and go in life
So it’s better not to dwell
on the space they leave when they move on
For in a supernatural world
we are all joined together
in ways that are strange and divine
But down here in this place we call home
all that’s left are ghosts

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Delightful Haze

 

The day is such a glossy mist
that it’s hard to tell
where the bay waters end and
the sky begins
In the wind are such songs of passion
that it’s hard to say
where my thoughts end and
the saints’ voices begin
This world is such a mystery
that I don’t know when life ends
and my dreams begin

 

 

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The Bat

The other day I discovered that a bat is living in my garage, and has been for probably over a year now–it’s taken me that long to wrap my mind around the reality of this permanent little tenant.  For about that amount of time I was finding teeny little mouse droppings in the same one or two spots; I was thinking, okay, I live with 4 cats and a dog bred for ground hunting, I should not be seeing this!  I kept sweeping it out, spraying bleach, putting the outside kitties over there, the smell of the dog–nothing worked.  They kept reappearing in time, but with no rustling sounds or further signs of nesting.  I was baffled.

Then it occurred to me that I’ve seen bats fluttering around on the property before, and even once or twice flying in the garage–where I simply ran out of there with my hands waving around in the air, going, “aaaaakk!!!”…figuring they would just move on and forgetting about it.  But now maybe there’s still one hanging out, I thought.

So that evening I went out there with a flashlight and examined the ceiling above the littered spot and–lo and behold–there it was, one loner bat with it’s smooth little jet-black head peeking out from the rafters.  It sort of freaked me out, but fascinated me also; I was scared and endeared at once.  He seemed so cute and to actually possess a little personality, yet at the same time my spine was crawling.

I went out there again and shined the light; he had crawled over a little bit further and I could see his little black legs, which I guess were his wings folded down.  On sensing me, he retreated back into the woodwork, yet with head still poking out.  My heart melted but my skin crawled!  I just wasn’t quite sure how to feel about this little fella.  I thought about humanely removing him, and I know this sounds kinda crazy, but I actually felt bad about that, thinking he’d probably been there for so long it was like his home and he was sort of like a pet…but…bats?….eeek!  I shined the flashlight directly on him and said, “I’m not going to hurt you but I’d like you to leave, please”.  I even gave him a name:  Blackie.

I went back in the house and it was all I could think of; suddenly so aware of something that had been there just above my head all along.  I dreamed of him and the garage most of the night!  In the dream someone was telling me that bats are not bad and are actually pretty cool.  Also in the dream I made a phone call, and the person answered, “Hey batty!”  This little creature, which couldn’t have been any longer than three inches, shook up my world!

The next morning I went out there and could not see him, but still not convinced that he wasn’t still hanging around.  I went back in the house and as I was putting water on for tea, wondered if I should call a friend who knows about these things:  I knew she would have something very insightful to say about the critters, but it could have gone fifty-fifty, one way or the other.  At that moment the phone rang and it was her.

“How do you feel about bats?” I asked shortly into the conversation.

“Bats?” she quickly replied, “Bats are absolutely fabulous…you’re blessed if you have them!”

I told her about the newest addition to the estate and she went on to educate me of his origins.  She told me that bats are awesome, wonderful, adorable and non-aggressive little creatures who got a bad rap from Hollywood and urban legends.  They’re very useful to have around ’cause they eat mosquitoes by the ton, and are even considered by some cultures to be good medicine and good luck.

She went on to tell how one time she saw a bat that was hurt or sick, and another one went over and wrapped its wings around its ailing pal.  Well this all would certainly explain the endearing little aura I was sensing!  It was like a mini-epiphany…and a huge sigh of relief!

Later that day I had to go into town and take care of some business.  As I parked and got out of the car, something in the jewelry store window right next to me caught my eye:  a beautiful antique necklace–a silver chain sporting big golden amber bat wings.

To me this experience has been a threefold lesson:  that what makes you fear may actually be in your life for a very good reason; that things are rarely what they seem in life and much of what we are taught when young is simply short-sighted hooey; and last but certainly not least, all innocent creatures of God have a right to exist.  Although it may take me awhile to get used to him, little Blackie is welcome back here anytime.

Throughout this little encounter with Mother Nature, my thoughts kept swinging around to a poem I wrote when I was 15 years old:

I am the bat
My eyes hold the love
of the dark lonely sky
I glide with the moon
through the shadow of eve
I dance among the stars that
shine so at ease
I am the bat
The magic of night is my home

 

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Raindrops

Upon the magic of raindrops
I travel through time
with the spirits all around me
who catch a free ride on the storm
We lived every breathing moment
like death would never come
Threw into every curve
like it were just around the corner
Each fleeting instant of this life force feeds into my soul
fills all my senses in the mystical moment
Never one distinguished from the other
all passion ignited, all one long lovely blur
Each experience I have ever survived
from whichever mysterious & transient chapter in my life
unravels right here, right now, no pauses, no gaps
Held blessed in the water
Crashing lovely to the ground
Releasing rare fragrances & forgotten dreams
Each era that we crafted
Every long ago hour that decorated our lives
Seemed to be all we could ever imagine:
the vision most sacred, the only thing happening
the declarations of love we thought would last forever
Until one day we awaken on another planet
our bodies telling another story
as we peer dumbfounded at the years
through a long invisible tunnel
& pray quietly for rain

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The Cross

Vertical Energy Stream:  Who you are, the continuity of your life-force, steadfast everlasting pillar of existence in God & within the universe

Horizontal Energy Stream:  The perpetual flow of time, of cause, effect & divine intention, creative lineage which passes through your being

Where the two strands of energy cross & connect is where the spark of consciousness ignites, the crossroads of alpha currents, sacred kinetics wherein anything is possible

Lay a rose there, in the center, where the cross occurs; put a rose there, over your heart

This came to me, again & again, this morning in my dream…

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Blowing Kisses To The Devil

 

I’ve looked into the face of evil
and come back around to speak of it
I’ve blown a kiss to the devil
for so long now an easy hit
The dark forces seem to think
my heart and mind, pray tell, free play
in not so much as a blink
blow my hopeful thoughts away
They’ve come disguised as clever muses
shrouded lies, sweet abuses
They’ve possessed the heart and flesh
of people I’ve loved
Faceless creatures dressed as angels from above
They appear as screaming faces
in the coldest, dimmest night
or in most unlikely places, sneak attack plight
Hanging over my shoulder
they scratch on the walls of my room
With each encounter growing bolder
this grand foreboding test of doom
They come straight up as demons
and as wayward tricky saints
They try hard to make what is
into something that just ain’t
Terrifying visions, difficult decisions
Always waiting and watching there
Always hating and in despair
They come to haunt my dreams
and breath into my nightmares
Never what they seem and never fighting fair
Their smart money always says how
I’ll cower and hide
But halting all bets now
I take it all in stride
For with each dark encounter
my heart grows tough as well
Surviving each floundering message from hell
It really doesn’t phase me
so much anymore
These demons come to craze me
are really quite the bore
won’t find me shaking in my boots or running for the door
Because I’ve looked into the face of evil
and I stand here now to speak of it
I blow a kiss to the devil
such a sorry sight in his loveless pit
I throw some light, he takes the hit
His mood is foul, he throws a fit
So long pal…it’s time to quit
(I pity him a little bit)

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2013 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,400 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 23 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Still No Words

As much as I love & live to express myself with language, there are still an infinity of things that words cannot touch.  I wanted to created a patchwork of photographs here, potpourri of memories which I can only hope will come close to capturing a bit of the sacred timeless moment

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Everyone have a safe & blessed New Year

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Last Lesson

Staring up at the moon and starry sky
More familiar than my old room
than my grandparent’s house or the oldest friend
More familiar than the most reoccurring dream
my favorite song, cherished old toy
More familiar than my family crest
the most beloved of faces, most sacred locale
stillest memory, all gone now
The stars leave ribbon traces, silver light
across shadows of time
like the streaks through my hair
on this wild windy plight
like the lines on my skin
ancient trailways in the sky
I have stood like this for decades, eras, eons uncountable
Staring at the moon and stars
surrounded by all their mystery
Marveling at the planets
beneath their glowing constancy
And though the unspeakable has occurred
nothing seem to have changed
my broken epics seem so frail
never changing either
Walking back up the path
footsteps echoing through the cold night
I begin to understand now all that really matters
is whether or not we can find our way to see the lesson of love

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Dia de la Muerte


Moon set over calles del muertes
Todo es negro azul
pera el luna, luz oro grande
voy abajo casas de phantasmas
Este mundo tomar el luz
Espirites bista como cominar su camino
Moon sinks below houses of the dead
over ancient corriders
in a neighborhood of dreamtime dimensions
and everything comes to life



The season turns its face again
to the mysteries of night
Dia de la Muerte once again passes
Citadels stand everywhere
aglow with undying light
In basement rooms
deep in earth’s womb
On broken streets of twilight days
lined tall along wind swept avenues
amid fossil mansions
and rustic bellowing trees
Offerings of prayer
for the dead and the living
Temples lighted by
the love of all souls

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