Angel Airwaves

 

 

 

 

I was sitting in the parking lot of a cancer factory
waiting for an appointment I knew I would not honor
but kept anyway because I gave my word
to listen to whatever the cancer drug pusher had to say
about the malfunctioning cells in my breast
or the breast that I gave up, gave away
Knowing full well I was the one who caused that blockage
holding so many bizarre emotions upon my heart
fiery spiraling heart chakra
Years pass while we don’t even realize
and then one day our bodies are older
and the things we hold there crystalize
Our temples forsake us
Our spirits cry
Watching our youth slip into ancient history
like a long-extinct animal who arrived on this planet
as a very old creature from another land
and creating such havoc and rapture from this new life at hand
Days turn to nights, night passes
Years slip away
Our bodies betray us
or revolt from the reckless unkindness’s displayed
Though we never really meant to harm ourselves that way
So I was sitting in the parking lot of the cancer factory
with all of these notions floating on my psyche
listening to the radio while I waited
And on came a song I had never before heard
Dispatched by angel airwaves to be sure
It was in the style of that good old Americana blend
which arose in the wake of the 1960’s and 70’s musical explosion
the kind we would have listened to back then
the anti-thesis to disco madness
but also sounded rather Irish
like a modern Celtic folk tune
telling a heartfelt, homespun tale
And as I listened the words just wrapped
like a spring around the deepest center of my heart
with every haunted emotion there
It so overwhelmed me, all I could do was feel
Couldn’t talk, couldn’t think, could hardly breath
The man sang of a beautiful, carefree young girl
who he could not have for his own, though he adored her so
because her spirit was so free, back in the 60’s or 70’s
Her ideals were pure, thoughts innocent and untainted
He wanted so badly to make her his wife, but couldn’t
because she was married only to herself and to the wind
Ran like an uncaged animal through the wildflower fields
and loved every person she crossed there
yet with love’s conventions she could not comply
He never forgot her
The decades spinned by
and he heard somehow that, now old
she was living in the woods somewhere, behind a parking lot
living scared, overlooked, destitute and cold
Forsaken by her very own unbridled spirit
it was the very thing that left her alone
trapped and helpless, unloved, on her own
within a world which had so mercilessly turned
toward clinical ambiguity and corporate greed
ruthless cold drugs, fast cold living
As I listened the story saddened me so deeply
The music gripped me insides
I could still hardly breath
I just sat there and cried
realizing that in some small way
it could have been me
and in a larger context
is the forlorn current state of humanity
At that point in time you were still alive
I still had you to run back to
You, who so well knew that wild open girl I used to be
and who loved me still, as I am today
with missing tit and hardened sensibilities
That was when I and the world still had you
And now that you’re gone
I am haunted so intensely by echos of that song
You were the last and most precious link to sacred history
The most cherished savior testament to that little girl
with the soul like the wind
so free yet weathered and marred
and the man who loved her so brutal
yet truer than the stars
A love that simply would not die
like your body right before me
And now that you’re really gone this time
the noise has never quieted inside
Those rattling chains which I, myself, created
Like that girl in the tune
I am lost and alone
in this bankrupt world without you
Without your sympathetic flesh to hold onto
and remember together
a sweeter day
Things may have never been that easy
never as clean and neat, like a song, indeed
but time was in our corner
and so much was coming our way
We let so much pass
You were the first real love and the last I ever knew
Now I have to face it all without you
But as long as you’re safe in the angel world
That’s all that really matters to this foolish old girl

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About Unsungpoet

Life-long poet, numerologist, author of other previously unpublished works :)
This entry was posted in Photos, Poetry and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Angel Airwaves

  1. Ben Naga says:

    A milestone poem, I’d guess. Rather special, this one

    And “Beeswing”? Always a great favourite of mine

  2. Unsungpoet says:

    Dear, Dear Ben, thank you ever so much…That was the song! About as good as songs get! I was able to look it up and read the words and listen to it again, gave me chills and made me cry some more…I had no idea, had forgotten the “fine as a beeswing”, and that was it…Of course I guess I put my own slant on remembering it from that one day, but it IS the song, and of course the very same sentiment, so much emotion, I could just picture the whole story. I was hoping that someone would be able to identify it for me, and how did I somehow know that someone would be you?…This really made my day, so glad you’re tapped into those angel airwaves…thanks…

  3. willowdot21 says:

    I am sat here and I am honest to God crying, is this true …. Have you lost your man to the next step on this hard grind we call life and death. My heart goes out to you. Please be well and face that treatment and be strong . If I read this right your man has passed but he is not gone he will be watching you and willing you on. I know comparisons do not help but my cousin in law lost her husband to cancer then found she has Parkinsons …. I do not know why life is so shitty it just is. My husband and I have been married over forty years we have three sons all grown and flown but all our married life he has been hounded by a depression and a need to control myself and the lads. Things have never been easy but I have stuck it out. For the last eleven years he has had a ‘girlfriend/lover ‘ whatever and I have had to lie and cover up for him ……. see life is shitty. But I am still standing and so are you ( not bad for me with a twice broken back and you with cancer ) we we must not give up or give in! I shall pray for you. I looked up Bees wing and it is a truly beautiful song!
    Be strong I am with you in spirit! xxxxxxx

    • Unsungpoet says:

      Thank you for your words of compassion and your prayers, and for sharing with me. I knew some of these things about you from reading some of your writings (funny, but I know all these personal things about you but don’t even know your name…) I truly appreciate how you have opened up here. I think we as human beings somehow choose these tribulations in life for they fill the gaps in our souls, make us stronger and more whole, perhaps making up for previous blunders when we may have caused pain on others; fulfilling those karmic requirements of life on this planet. Maybe sometimes we are punishing ourselves. But all that awareness still doesn’t make it anymore easier or any less heartbreaking, does it?…I certainly have my bad days, but really believe that we will experience triumph and jubilant spirit as long as we hold what is right and true on our hearts, nothing more, nothing less…

      • willowdot21 says:

        Yes it is strange how we can share our deepest darkest secrets with strangers rather than talk about them face to face with those who we should! I still stand by what I said I am am with you in spirit!

  4. Unsungpoet says:

    Thank you, I feel ya!

  5. Thank you for sharing such intimacy. Welcome back. 🙂

  6. Heartbreakingly raw and brilliant writing. “so free yet weathered and marred – and the man who loved her so brutal – yet truer than the stars” ALL of this piece blows me away and brings tears. I am glad I found you, that I may follow and continue to enjoy your talent shared here. Thank you.

    • Unsungpoet says:

      Wow…thank YOU…yeah..it’s amazing the difference one person can make and your heartfelt comment has me very touched today and graced with your understanding…Thank you so much angel!!

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